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A man is travelling on a country road and sees a sign that says "Talking dog for sale" So he stops in. He says to the man in the rocker on the front porch..."I see you have a talking dog for sale". The man says,"sure do, he's in the back yard if you want to talk to him." So the man goes to the back yard and finds a nice looking black lab. He says," so I hear you can talk?" To his amazement, the dog answers, "I certainly can!"
When the man recovers from his surprise, he asks the dog to tell him about himself. The dog says, " Well, I learned to talk when I was just a young pup. I wanted to help my country, so I called the CIA. They put me to work around the world. I went to all the top secret meetings and was very valuable. People would talk freely when I was in the room and I could tell my boss what they said. They never suspected I could talk.
I recieved the highest rewards and medals the CIA could give me, but i got tired of jetting all around the world so I retired and came back to the States. I got a job at the airport and was able to thwart many terrorist plots with information that I over heard. After a few years of this work, I decided that i would like to settle down and have a family....so I retired and found a pretty bitch and we had a fine litter of pups.
Well, That is my life story!"
The man went back to talk to the man on the front porch. He asks him how much he wants for the dog? The man says, "ten dollars." "Really, I can't believe that you would sell such an incredible dog for that," he replies.
The man says, "oh, that dog is such a liar, he has never done any of those things!"
A boy doesn't like the family out house which is right by the creek so one day when the creek was high from rain, he pushed it into the creek and away it floated!
That night at supper, his father asked him if he had pushed the out house into the river? The boy admitted that he had and then, thinking quickly, said...Dad, you know how George Washington cut down his father's cherry tree but he didn't get in trouble because he told the truth?
His father replied, "Yes, son, but George Washington's father wasn't IN the Cherry tree!
While on the topic... a man accidently dropped a dollar bill down the out house seat....He quickly got out his wallet and started throwing down 20 dollar bills. A friend saw this and asked him what he was doing? He replied, "You don't think I would go down there for a dollar do you?"