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Israel and the Vatican decide they are going to have a conference to promote good will between them. The leaders decide that they are going to have a golf tournament while there. The Cardinals get together and decide that if there is going to be a tournament, they might as well send someone to win it. So, they make Jack Nicholas a Cardinal and send him to play.
After the tournament, Jack goes to talk to the pope about how it went. He says, "I have good news and bad news. The good news is that my playing was divinely inspired...every drive on the green and every putt was perfect." The pope says, "That sounds pretty good! What's the bad news?"
Jack replies, "The bad news is that I lost by two strokes to Rabi Woods!"
A man was playing golf and met up with an old man who invited him to go a round with him. The old man turns out to be a very good player. The young man was struggling to keep up with him. When they got to the last hole, there was a huge tree in the middle of the fairway. The old man says," When I was your age, I would just drive right over that tree."
The young man takes the challenge and proceeds to hit the tree squarely...the ball bounces off the course and gets lost in the woods. The old man chuckles and says, "Of course, when I was your age, that tree was only 6 feet tall!"