These may make you groan, but you might laugh too!
There was a chess tournament held in a classy hotel.  When the tournament was over, the players were sitting in the lobby bragging about their various achievements.  They got so loud that the desk clerk told them that they would have to leave.  The next day the manager of the hotel asked the desk clerk why he had gotten so upset with the chess players.  He said, "Well, I can take most anything, but one thing I can not stand is chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!"
Chess Tournament
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The land of Trid
There was once upon a time a kingdom called Trid.  The peasants farmed the hill side because the soil was so good there...but there was a giant who would come up and kick the Trids back down the hill...so they couldn't get any work done.

The Trids went to the Rabbi and asked him what they should do about the problem.  The Rabbi told them that he would go and see what he could find out.  So the next day, the Rabbi went up the hill and worked in the fields.  The giant would come up and see the Rabbi working, but he never kicked the Rabbi down the hill.  This went on for a few days and the Rabbi finally went up to the giant and asked him why he never kicked him down the hill.  The giant replied, "Kicks are for Trids silly Rabbi!"
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Frog Loan
A frog went to the bank to get a loan.  The loan officer's name was Patty Black.  She asked the frog if he had any collateral to put up for the loan.  The frog said, 'Yes, I have this." and he held up a shiny black object.   Patty looked at it doubtfully and told the frog that she would have to talk to the bank manager about it. 

    She showed it to the manager and explained the situation...She said she wasn't even sure what the object was.  The bank manager looked at it and said, "That's a nick knack Patty Black, give the frog a loan."
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